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Seattle Post-Intelligencer - August 15, 2005
Young Muslims caught between two worlds
Fellow Americans' ideas about their faith often based on misperceptions
By CHRISTINA ASAVAREUNGCHAI
High school, with its pressures to fit in and be cool, can be brutal for anyone. But try wearing a Muslim head scarf, and you'll really see who your friends are.
"Nothing had changed, except I just had this piece of cloth on my head," says Zakiya Qadir, now a 19-year-old student at the University of Washington. "When some people saw that, the friendship ended right then."
For Muslims, high school is "the most difficult part of ... growing up here," Qadir says.
Two million to 7 million Muslims live in the United States, according to State Department estimates.
Many are young people who've grown up to face a twofold challenge: integrating their faith into their lives as pop-culturally aware young Americans and defending their religious beliefs against misunderstanding, prejudice and, sometimes, hate -- even in relatively accepting cities such as Seattle.
People have stopped Qadir to ask if she's sheltered and if her father forces her to wear the scarf. Once, a man told her that Saddam Hussein has been caught, so "you're free now." "I'm like, 'I choose to do this,' " Qadir said.
"People have these glaring misconceptions, these falsehoods, these lies, that are magnified and reflected on the entire Muslim population," said Hanady Kader, 20, president of the UW's Arab Students Organization.
Ijaz Khan is a thirty something lawyer and partner at the Seattle law office of Mussehl and Khan, which regularly serves Muslim clients. He says that because of 9/11, young American Muslims "have to confront these issues (of self-identity) a lot sooner than before."
"A lot of young people don't know if they're fully American or Middle Eastern," he said. "You feel totally, 100 percent American, but you feel a little bit different because your family's culture and religion is different."
Nida Nawaz, 20, president of the UW's Pakistani Student Association, doesn't wear a head scarf, but dresses modestly. She says it's up to her, especially in the United States.
Kader points out that some Christian nuns choose to cover their hair. She also says the prophet Mohammad's first wife was a successful businesswoman, and Muslim women are encouraged to get an education.
"It's frustrating," said UW student Irmina Haq, 20. "I'm a Muslim woman myself, and people say I'm oppressed, and not allowed to go to school. A lot of Muslim women are doctors and lawyers and journalists."
Mohamed El-Zohairy, 22, vice president of the UW's Arab Students Organization, came from Egypt for college and says that women are highly respected in his home country. "People here have yo' mama jokes," he said. "That doesn't happen in Egypt. It's a bigger issue if you offend someone's mom."
The choices that young Muslims make throughout high school and college may depend on family upbringing, cultural influences and personal interpretations of the Quran. Religious practices vary considerably -- just as in Christianity and Judaism, which share common roots with Islam.
"It's difficult trying to explain to people that the Somali girl next to me is also Muslim, and we're really different," said Kader, who has Palestinian and Arab roots. "People make it out to be a monolithic religion; it's not. It's one of the most vibrant faiths I have ever studied or come across."
Some young Muslims socialize openly with the opposite gender, while others limit this contact to issues related to school, work or business.
A few date; others may have an arranged marriage -- or as Mohammad Sarhan, 22, and Hassan Hatem, 21, president of the UW's Muslim Student Association, prefer to call it, "family-assisted marriage." There are many variations, but they say it generally works like this: If a man is interested in a specific woman, he'll discuss the potential match with his parents and hers. If that goes well, he'll get to know the woman in the presence of chaperones.
In the end, the woman has the final say in whether she wants to enter the marriage…..
Terrorist stereotypes remain one of the biggest challenges facing Muslims of all ages. But El-Zohairy says associating all Muslims with terrorists is like assuming all white Americans are in the Ku Klux Klan.
"We're the victims of terrorism, and at the same time, we're being viewed as terrorists, as extremists," he said, referring to the July bombing that killed at least 64 people at an Egyptian resort.
People have said things to Sarhan in passing, as he's leaving a store, or getting off the bus: "Go back to your country." "It's all your fault." "Stop killing our people, you terrorist."
Other times, Sarhan said, people react nervously. "They want to know if you're OK. ... 'Are you happy today?' Like, 'Are you going to bomb anything?' "
Qadir says that her friend, who wore a head scarf, boarded a bus carrying a huge duffel bag with a soccer ball in it. People looked at her suspiciously, and when her hourly watch alarm went off, they started screaming, the bus stopped and the driver inspected her bag."You get so used to it, you laugh about it," Qadir said.
Haq's cousin was kicked off a plane because of a worried passenger, and her 3-year-old cousin was put on the no-fly list because he shared the name of a suspected terrorist.
Sarhan says the Muslim Student Association posted fliers in the UW Chemistry Building on three days in one week. All three days, the fliers got torn down.
At Shoreline Community College, Sarhan says, "It got so bad that we thought of putting a sticker behind our fliers so that if they tore it off, the sticker would say, 'You've committed a hate crime,' or piling fliers so that if they ripped it off, they'd find another one behind it."
Still, Khan, who has lived in Seattle for 15 years, thinks that it's "more liberal and accepting than other cities."
"The UW is the best example of openness and understanding," said Hatem, who has lived in the United States all his life. "In Seattle, you could have a huge beard, and people may look at you, but they won't do anything."
A number of young Muslims have diverse groups of supportive friends. "My friends are Muslim, Jewish, Christian, Hispanic, African American and Asian," Zaman said. …..
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/236605_youngmuslims15.html
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